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If you vote third party you’re a f*cking idiot

Christopher Walker, Editor-in-Chief

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I’m not sure if it’s because I spend the majority of my time on a liberal arts college campus with scores of morons studying basket weaving, but this political season, I’ve heard a plethora of first-time voters declare they’re going with a third party come November.

Let me make this very clear: anyone voting third party this election is naïve, immature and should have their voting rights stripped away.

In a winner-take-all political system (for example, the candidate who gets the second-largest number of votes does not get the vice presidency), a two-party system is mathematically guaranteed.

Why would anyone pour money into a political party guaranteed to not get results on a national scale? It’s an immovable and absolute fact: our political system will always and forever have two parties.

Anyone believing anything to the contrary has a fundamental misunderstand of how the American political system works.

Like a child screaming that he or she wants candy for dinner, you want something you can’t (and probably shouldn’t) have.

Even putting aside the wildly immoral and fascinatingly ignorant financial policies of Libertarians and the amusing naivety of the Green party, all third parties are useless.

Those who claim that the candidates are the same, that they’re both evil, are idiots. Take five minutes to research what their platform stands for. The Republican and Democratic nominees are never even close to the same.

Learning how to compromise is an essential part of growing up. We can’t always get exactly what we want. Sometimes, we have to settle with the best realistic option.

Many students feel once our generation takes power, we will not be limited to two options; that we are on the cusp of a great political revolution. No we are not. You have always and will always have two options. Grow up.

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If you vote third party you’re a f*cking idiot